Sober Awkward — By Victoria Vanstone

Being sober gives so much. It makes the world a much nicer place to be. I feel happier, lighter and I’m no longer at risk of being arrested. But, honestly, even though sobriety can some days feel like a never-ending journey of self-love, it does have some rocky moments. That means when I’m not skipping through fields picking daisies while singing ‘Walking on Sunshine’ I pass a lot of time feeling awkward.

Awkward because I don’t know what to say, awkward because I don’t know how to relax and awkward because I’m not the person I was.

I think there is a place where we get stuck as sober people, its exactly the same place as when we were questioning our drinking but didn’t know what to do. It’s like the uncomfortable pause between a shit joke and its unfunny punch line, a sort of place where hope is dismantled, and humor is sucked out.

Sobriety can feel like an endless tumble weed moment.

Choosing an alcohol-free life means we now have to do stuff sober that we would have normally done drunk and its very challenging. Without anything to numb out with, situations we used to enjoy can brim with anxiety.

For me, drinking meant I didn’t care, I was in the moment, on the dancefloor, letting loose with no thought of what I was doing…then the blackout where my fun night out dropped into a void. There was no awkward because I was too far gone. Anesthetized to what the people around me thought and to how my behavior may have been perceived. I got away with acting like a loon…