A Temporarily Awkward Sobriety

‘Come on, it’s my birthday!’ says my friend.

‘Er, no, I’m fine. I don’t drink anymore’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, one won’t hurt’

I stare down at the empty glass in my hand feeling overwhelmed.

I want to shout,

‘One will hurt. One means I will lie in bed all day and ignore my children. One means I will have anxiety and feel like dying. One means I have let myself, and my family down. One means so much. One means everything. One does fucking hurt you idiot!!’ Instead, I say,